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Yesterday I’ve posted a message on John Romero’s site about my Hyperspace Deliver Boy Resource Viewer, the very same viewer that will soon be an editor. Lo’ and behold, not only did he reply, he said that is was pretty cool! Needless to say that made my day! It has certainly given me an extra oomph to push this software to its limits.

This is very good, very good indeed

Anyway, here’s the 411 on HDBEdit. Yes, the name is silly, yet more descriptive than me calling it Apocalyptic Transient. The program is in the alpha stage, which means that it’s far from being completed, whole sections don’t work/exist but at least it works enough to showcase it bit. Normally you don’t see alpha software floating around, but hey, I’m an attention whore.

Basically, this program opens the PC version Hyperspace Delivery Boy files (*.MPC) and lets you view the resource therein (graphics, scripts, sounds). It does not yet show maps, but all in good time, all in good time.

The overall goal is to create an original HDB fan mission. “Guy Carrington: In search of the Them?” who knows? Lot’s of ideas, but this software needs to be written first.

I’m finishing my MPC module so that it can convert data both ways. I’m probably going to replace the List View with a Tree View to make searching and editing files easier. Yes, I have lots of things on the horizon.

Lets see how far I can take this.

I’ve finally a very rough version of my resource file viewer. There’s lots of stuff still missing (like the ability to export, import, and edit files) and, well, it’s ugly. But, damn, it works and I’m happy

I’ll post a more detailed rant when I get home tonight. In the meantime, you can get it here.

PS: I only tested it on Windows XP, your mileage may vary.

I’m a very good fan of Lewis Black, a very angry, cynical, jaded comedian. In one of his bits, he tells the audience why people get aneurisms even though doctors can’t figure it out. Paraphrasing the skit, he’s at IHOP and hears a woman saying that if it weren’t for her horse, she would not have spent that year in college. Your brain will try, unsuccessfully, to figure that out (was she riding the horse to school? Did she have a polo pony scholarship?) until it realizes that someone who went to college would never have said something so stupid to begin with; when you have that thought *boom* you’re dead.

Today, I write to you from my deathbed as I’ve had a similar moment. A moment that I will share with you all because if I can’t live to take over the world, I’m sure as hell bringing a bunch of you bastards with me.

Go over here and read this very very small article. Go on. I’ll wait for you.

Go!

Good, now read it again. I’m not kidding. Read it again. Do it dammit! Stop questioning every single freaking request I make. Just do it.

Good. Now… What the FUCK! I mean What The Fuck. Capital double you, capital why, capital eff!

I can just picture the drug dealers now “shit man, I may deal dope, but I’m a taxpaying citizen.” or “Man, I’m not gonna compound my sins by evading taxes too, foo.”

Holy Fuck, is it possible that all the dammed inbreeding has finally taken its toll? Here’s a free tip: Lead paint chips are not the same as Frito Lays chips. Trust me on this one. Not that you’re reading this as it’s devoid of pictures.

I mean, let’s break this down:
“Drugs seized without stamps or having expired stamps may result in criminal or civil penalties which may include fines, seizure of property or liens against real estate.” And what about drugs WITH stamps? Or are you saying that if you get thrown in jail for drug possession, on top of the incarceration, fines, seizure of property or liens agaist real estate, they’ll give you additional fines, seizures of property or liens against real estate? “Yessiree Cletus, we’s gonna get ‘em on double whammy!”

Wait, it gets better.

A dealer is not required to give his/her name or address when purchasing stamps and the Department is prohibited from sharing any information relating to the purchase of drug tax stamps with law enforcement or anyone else.” Never mind Sergeant Cletus waiting for you outside of the office. It’s good to know that even drug dealers have rights.

Just keep this in mind as we move on to the FAQ:

What methods of payment are accepted for purchasing drug tax stamps?
Only cash, money order, or a cashier’s check can be used to purchase drug tax stamps. No personal checks are allowed. What? No checks? But you know Im good for it! How about this stolen credit card? Will you accept payments in hashish?

How much do drug tax stamps cost?
Drug tax stamps can be purchased in denominations and multiples of $10, $50, $100, $500, and $1000.
What is the minimum purchase required for purchasing drug tax stamps?
$100.
“Sorry we only cater to serious offenders here”

And the clincher, this is where they throw their net, ensnare the lazy drug dealer, this is where the mastermind of their plan comes together like a right-wing bar-b-que at a bubaki convention.

Can I purchase drug tax stamps through the mail?
Yes. The purchaser will need to provide their mailing address in order for the Department to send the drug tax stamps.

GOTCHA!

I wonder if “Drop them off by the bridge at midnight” is a valid address.

Like every other “capitalist peeg”, I want to make a ridiculous amount of money. So much money to be able to rival Uncle’s Scrooge’s money bin, but where he filled it with coins, I’d fill it with Benjamins.

On my drive to work I asked myself how I could do this and how low I’d be willing to go to do it. Sure I can kidnap people and sell them into white slavery, but that gets old fast. I need something that will make me rich overnight… and then the idea hit me.

I should start a boy band! I’ll call it N*Sane and it will be a cross between N*Sync and Disturbed. I even have the title of my first song “Stupid Bitch, I Fucking Love U!” I think I have a hit on my hands.

Anyway, I guess the next step is to find several other guys to fit the template. Let’s see, I’ll be the twitchy cynic so that leaves, angsty goth, the gentle jock, the bitter prettyboy, and of course, the androgynous shlep who will eventually betray us and leave us for his own contract deal.

After that, it’s simple. Just parade out in our wife-beaters (that’s a kind of shirt, shithead) and ovesized jeans. MTV is gonna pick us up faster than R. Kelly at a playground.

We’ll be rich with a religious following comprised mostly of socially inept, possibly overweight, teenage girls who will assassinate the world leaders on our command! MUAHAHAHA! What better way to become rich than by ruling the world.

I just noticed that all my schemes end with me ruling the world. Odd.