Archive for January, 2004

Thursday, January 29th, 2004

Ah, if Dr. Seuss was Network Wizard, can you imagine then reading his “manuals?”

It took one of those geniuses at Cornell to figure it out. Credit goes to Gene Ziegler for a really funny piece of art.

Dr. Suess as a Network Wizard

Here’s an easy game to play.
Here’s an easy thing to say….

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gona crash.

You can’t say this? What a shame, sir!
We’ll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gunna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unecessary risc,
then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
quickly turn of your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Thursday, January 15th, 2004

I want to take you back to 1997… Yes, I know, any more “historical” posts and this site should be renamed to “Arabundi’s Living in the Past”, just bear with me here. Anyway, back in 1997 or so I became a big fan of Internet Explorer 3. Sure, it was crappy, it crashed a lot, it was slow, but for some reason I really really liked it. Kind of like eating bacon, you know it’s not healthy for you, but you do it anyway. In my opinion Netscape 3 was the better browser, so I mainly used that — however, when no one was looking, I’d take peeks at IE.

Shortly thereafter, IE4 came out and blew everything away. The fact that Netscape 4 blew chunks, was slow, clunky, etc, didn’t help. IE4 was fast, and shiny, and like everyone else, I signed off my computer’s soul in order to use this great browser. I haven’t looked back ever since.

Let’s face it. What competition does IE6 have today?

  • Netscape/Mozilla: Have you ever tried to use this crap? It takes until Armageddon to load, it feels slow and clunky. It’s tainted with AOL.
  • Opera: Great browser, but I’ve never seen something that is both speedy and sluggish at the same time! It crashes on me all the time and a good chunk of the screen real-estate is used up by the menus, toolbars, tabs, and banner adds.

The problem with IE is that it lacks the better browsing feature of these other two browsers like tabbed browsing and mouse gestures. Any chance for an IE7? Probably not until the new version of Windows. *sigh* What is one to do?

Someone clued me in to Mozilla Firebird. It’s not like the current Mozilla/Netscape client… it’s fast, it’s sleek, it’s streamlined, it loads in nanoseconds, it has tabs that are smarted that Opera’s, a whole bunch of useful features like built in Google and popup blockers, and of course, Mouse Gesture (via a plug-in)

I’ve been using it for a couple of days now and I have to say that I’m amazed. Even though it’s version 0.7, I’m very much tempted to make it default web browser. Could this spell the beginning of a new browser war? I can only hope so.

Tuesday, January 13th, 2004

I love parodies. Be they music, movie, or book parodies, I love them all. And there is no one more fit to be the King of Parodies than Weird Al Yankovic.

Here are two fan-made flash animations to the tune of I think I’m a clone now and the The Angry White Boy Polka.

Enjoy.

Monday, January 12th, 2004

August 1998: Redmond, Washington. I cautiously approach an arcade cabinet, its phosphorous glow beckoning me in the darkness of the hallway like a siren’s song. I run my fingers gingerly over the cabinet and feel the spherical mounds of two trackballs, one red, one blue.


“It has no joystick.” I was struck. Sigmund Freud would have said that this arcade machine was a woman among a sea of joystick-ed peers. I say it is beautiful. I playfully spin the trackball and a naked Medusa comes on the screen, her snakes playfully hiding the more naughty bits. “Medusa, you tease.” I say.

It’s been over two months since I last saw my girlfriend, 3000 miles away. I was lonely. It’s only cheating if it’s the same species, or so I tell myself.

I fish through my pockets for a quarter while Medusa shows me how she’s trouncing one of the other AIs. Sweat pours down my brow as I find my pockets empty. Is my tryst with this digital mythical creature doomed from the start? I begin to despair, when I notice on the bottom of the screen the world’s two most beautiful words: Free Play.

I press the Player 1 button and I wait in anticipation. Soon, it will be just the two of us… and a colony of slimes? Noooo!

I play and defeat the colony of slimes only to be assaulted by a fat hillbilly mutant. It seems that my Medusa is the third opponent in the game. I defeat Cletus with hardly any effort. Nobody will stay between and my five minute imaginary fling.

At last, She arrives. We start playing. She quickly dominates the field. “So that’s how you like it? I can do that baby” I tell her. I turn the tables on her, I make a comeback but she’s relentless. More sweat pours down my face, my chest, my hands, on the controls. Each move changes the game almost completely, each move a note in our symphony. It is anybody’s game. Who’s going to go first? Her or me? Who’s going to come out on top?

Eventually we are done. Both of us are spent. I wish I smoked, because I want to light a cigarette. I give her one last look and promise I’ll come again tomorrow. Will I? You bet.

Fast Forward to today…

I’ve been infatuated with the game Ataxx for a very long time, so I decided to make my own version of it with quite a few twists. I’ll talk about that at a later date when I have something impressive to show you. Let’s talk about the rules for Ataxx for now.

The game is similar to Othello or Reversi where two players play on a board each with different color pieces. Just like Othello, the point is to create more pieces and convert as many of your opponent’s pieces as possible.

Tokens can move in one of two ways. They can slide or jump.

To slide, you select one of your pieces, and you then select any vacant square on the board that is adjacent to the piece. This will cause your piece to divide in two, that is, you have now 2 pieces, one in the original location, and one in the new location.

To jump, select one of your pieces, and then select a vacant square that lies one space beyond where you can slide. For example, if you have a piece at (3, 3), it can slide to (4, 3), but it can jump to (5, 3). Sadly, when you jump, you are moving that piece, it does not divide.

Whenever you place a piece on the board, be it by sliding or jumping, any of your opponent’s pieces that are adjacent to the one you just placed become yours.

Simple, right?

Anyway, I’m developing and testing the core functionality of the game; the rules and AI, if you will. So that I will not get distracted by graphics, sound, resource management, etc, I decided to create a cheesy, half-assed text-mode test program.

The interface of the test program is crappy. You have to play with the CAPS-Lock on. Sorry :) . It was not meant to be played by anyone. But since my fans are requesting, nay, demanding new content, who am I to refuse.

It runs under Windows. Have fun, and any feedback is welcome. You can get the file
right here, it’s only 47kb.