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With this sentence, I intrigue you.  “What is going to write about?” you begin to wonder. With this one, I captivate your imagination. By now, you’ll think I’m working towards a clever joke… but by the time you read this, you’ll realize that that was it and nothing else is forthcoming.

God, I need sleep.

Life has been crazy these last few weeks.  Work has been pretty crazy, it’s always fun to be under a tight deadline and watch your work slip because other teams you need to collaborate with have prioritized things differently (No Z, I don’t mean you guys).  I had fifteen work days to get something done, 3 of those days I was sent to a training exercise so mind-numbing  that I hear will be used to coerce detainees at Guantanamo Bay.  Two of those days, however, were spent at Las Vegas.  All I will say is that she was that way when we got there and that I regret nothing.  But where am I going to get five days back?  Why work Memorial Day weekend and the one before! Voila! Magical extra days!  Too bad I was going to use that time to work on my own projects, but hey! It’s all good.

Sometimes I’ll get into these moods where I become very hermit-like and just want to be left alone to do that which hermits do and be at peace with the world.  Of course, this is exactly when my social calendar gets booked the tightest.  Housewarming pajama party on Friday.  Paintball (at unholy o’clock), a birthday, bowling, AND a soccer game on Saturday, followed by my gaming group on Sunday night.  Of course, when I do feel social, nobody’s doing anything.  *Sigh*

Also, I think I want to kill my cat but the dumb bastard is stupid enough to accidentally foil and revert all my plans against him.

Random!

“How do I know you’re not CONTROL?”

“If I was CONTROL, you’d already be dead.”

“If you were CONTROL, you’d already be dead.”

“Neither of us is dead, so I’m obviously not from CONTROL.”

[Long pause]

“That actually makes sense!”

I love Steve Carell, I’m really looking forward to his new movie.

The best part of working on something you can’t tell people is that you’re usually working on something really cool.  The worse part of working on something you can’t tell people is that you can’t tell people!

Thank you for showing me that growing up there was more to life than women and getting laid — such as fictional Dark Elven spider priestesses of Lloth with 18 Charisma.

Thank you for the countless Friday nights I spend rolling dice and arguing whether or not backstabbing an earth golem with a pickaxe automatically does critical damage.

Thank you for the priceless memory of my friend saying in front of his highly conservative mother "I’ll murder him!" That’s alright, Mrs. Limone, we’re the good guys.

Thank you for making being a social outcast mean something again.

I guess, what I’m trying to say, Mr. Gygax, is thank you for all the memories, friendships, and good times.

Last Saturday I hosted a LAN party at my place and we had a blast.  The geekiness started around 4PM and ended around 5PM the next day.  What can I say?  It was awesome.

Among the games played was party favorite Dawn Of War, an RTS based on the Warhammer 40k universe… why spend thousands of dollars painting miniatures when you can have the computer do it for you? *hides from Will Truncheon, miniature painting king*

Anyway, one of the games we decided to play was Hellgate: London, what some call a spiritual successor to Diablo.  Clearly the staple of LAN parties.  This is where things began to go awry…

Being that I didn’t have the game and that stores were closed (it was late at night, after all) I decided to go to EA’s web site and purchase the game directly from them.  The game retails in a box for $50, being that I’m receiving it digitally, EA give a $0 discount.  However they automatically add a $5 item to your shopping cart.  This allows you to download the game for up to two years instead of six months.  See, unless you pay for the Extended Download Service you can only download the game for six months.  I suppose that it’s difficult for a huge company like EA to keep track of every purchase someone’s ever made…  The sales pitch is reminiscent of Best Buy or CompUSA when they try to sell you the extended warranty.  In their own words:

Think of this as your digital safety net for those unexpected occurrences - like your hard drive frying or a virus infection. EDS means that with the purchase of your digital product, we’ll keep a copy of your file for two full years, so you don’t have to. This is in addition to the complimentary coverage we provide for 6 months with any digital purchase from the EA STORE. You’ll gain peace of mind knowing that we have your program stored and ready for you to download again at your convenience.

A little extra protection on your order to keep your products safe? Why not!

So this digital purchase ends up costing you MORE than the physical one… Interesting…

Anyway, I download the EA Download Manager which downloads the 7GB installation file and installed me some Hellgate: London!  I couldn’t wait to go in with my buddies and kick some hell-spawn ass.

After the game installs however, I got a bizarre error.  "The game can not start. In order to launch this game, please login to the EA Download Manager to verify your ownership, then try again"

This is odd, I thought to myself.  So I tried again, I rebooted, you know, all the standard stuff.  Failing that, I went online to find not only am I not alone, there seems to be no "cure" for this problem.  Forcing my hand, I actually contacted EA technical support.  Knowing what a pain it is to troubleshoot stuff, I was as descriptive as possible with my problem, I even attached the error logs generated by their software.  I explained that the solutions they suggested online were not applicable to this particular title because it used a different DRM scheme and therefore the was no PACE Anti-Piracy folder anywhere on my PC.  Furthermore I told them that I installed the game once and on a single PC (that’s the definition of "once", Kyle)

I quickly (12 hours later) get a reply asking for more information such as when I made the purchase, date of birth (???) etc.  So I replied.  An even quicker (10 hours later) response gets sent.  This is the response (emphasis mine)

Hello,
Thanks for contacting EA Technical Support! I sincerely apologize for the difficulties you’re having with the game. I understand you’re having issues with The Sims 2 Pets, and I know how frustrating that is. I can assure you that I will try my best to have your issue resolved immediately.

If you see the following error, your game has likely been downloaded and installed on three other computers already.

"The game can not start. In order to launch this game, please login to the EA Link to verify your ownership, then try again".

According to the End User License Agreement, which can be found by opening the EA Downloader, highlighting your game, and selecting Game Manual, "You may only have the game installed on three computers at any given time."

If you are sure you have not installed the game on a fourth computer, please clear your license files located at C:\Users\Your Account\AppData\Roaming\PACE Anti-Piracy\ and delete all the files in that folder.

<snip instructions on how to find the AppData folder>

I hope somehow this helps, and if there is anything else we can do to help, please let us know.
For the latest technical support information about your favorite EA games, be sure to check out our online support page at http://support.ea.com.
Thanks!
Lennard B.
EA Technical Support

WHAT?  There is so much wrong with this note that I can’t even begin!  "The Sims 2 Pets?"  Where the hell did you get that?  Also I love how the are assuming that I’ve installed the game only multiple PC even though I said the opposite, even so far as to gently remind me of the EULA.  But the part that killed me was the fact that even though I told them there is no PACE Anti-Piracy folder on my computer, even though I sent them the logs that say that the problem is with a Sony DRM solution… THEY STILL TELL ME TO CLEAR MY PACE ANTI-PIRACY FOLDER?!

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!  The irony is that had I waited to go to the store… I would be playing Hellgate: London right now.  I eagerly await their next response in the next 12 hours…